The BEST Lawyer Billboard EVER!

Driving to Federal Court in Newark, New Jersey, I ran across this billboard and I had to smile:

I don't know if you can tell, but this is Brooke Barnett's law firm staff (and her) dressed like gangsters.  What a way to appeal to your clientele!  I think it's brilliant!  Or it just goes to show what one must do to get a client, or two.  But if she does criminal law in Newark, she's in the right place, with the right zoot suit.  You go Brooke!

The End of the the Contract Attorney Era: By Court Mandate

We have discussed Robo Lawyers in the past and how e-discovery conducted by computers will impact the market place for contract attorneys (a.k.a. document review attorneys).  It's my feeling and perhaps the general consensus that contract attorney jobs will dissipate gradually with the ebb and flow of the free market.  Attorneys in India are cheaper than our lawyers, who are heavily laden with the burden of student loan debt.  Then, once clients get the memo that much of contract monkey work can be done by computers, sans attorneys altogether, document review "opportunities" will eventually disappear altogether. However, although covered in 2011, the change did not seem imminent.  After all, it takes a long while for the legal market place to catch up to technology, or so I thought.

Welcome to tomorrow.    Judge Peck of the the Southern District of New York court mandated robo-attorneys for document review--because it's cheaper.  I have practiced in Federal Court and this type of "innovative" idea could catch like wildfire--and spread from one Judge's chambers to the other.  Let's determine how many jobs this type of case would have created.  Apparently, the issue in the case is as follows:

Whether Publicis Groupe compensated female employees less than similarly situated males via salary, bonuses, or perks; precluded or delayed the selection and promotion of females into higher level jobs held by male employees; and carried out terminations or reassignments when the company was reorganized in 2008 that disproportionately impacted female employees.

 I'm thinking this type of case would have provided work for 25 or so contract attorneys.  So, thanks for putting 25 young, starving and possibly homeless contract attorneys out of work, Judge Peck.  I know, it's not his responsibility to make sure that young attorneys are working.  But it's also not his responsibility to make watch the litigants' pockets.  Next he'll be looking at the attorney's bills and deciding whether the work is administrative or legal in nature before the check is cut.  Unless, of course, the legal fees are awarded to the Plaintiff---which could actually be the case here.  Then that does fall within his duties as a judge.  Whatever.  That's not the point.

Litigation is pricey and that is part of what makes the machinery of the legal system turn as it does. To usurp that premise by dictating methods of discovery is... should I say... reversible error?

Let's see what happens. Run, don't walk, away from contract work. It's no place to be when the ground splits open beneath your feet.

Moral of the Story: The government always finds a way to intervene, i.e. ruin, the free market.

Guest Post from a Recent Graduate

To the class of 2011:

It was not so long ago that you and I were among the over 40,000 graduates of the class of 2011.  In fact it has been about 9 months and I, like most of you, recently received an email from my CSO office asking me to complete the post graduate employment survey.  I remembered back to a presentation my CSO director gave first year stating our school's median graduate salary was $63,000 and that we boasted an impressive 86% rate of employment upon graduation.  During the presentation, I noticed a footnote on the bottom of the Power Point stating the stats were based on a 35% response rate.  I raised my hands, pointed it out, was brushed off and the footnote was removed from the document in the Symplicity library.

This was my first indication something was wrong.  Soon, I discovered blogs like this one and began to spread the word to other law students and 0L's.  As I read this blog and others, I learned that the rosy picture law schools paint about employment is affected by the low response rate to the graduate employment surveys and the fact that the "winners" of the law school game are more likely to report their salaries. (according to Law School Transparency, my schools response rate looks to be under 20% last year)  Also, since there are few winners, CSO may contact them more aggressively then the grads tending bar and serving lattes.

What if we all, bad, worse and ugly, reported our employment situation in detail to our CSO offices?

If you are a graduate of 2011 or know one, please ask them to complete the survey below and email it to their career services offices IMMEDIATELY!

Are you employed
Where?
How many hours per week?
How much money do you bring home in a month?
What are your monthly student loan payments?
What payment plan are you on? (standard, extended, graduated, IBR)
Are your loans in deferment, forbearance or default?  (If yes Which)
Is your job temporary or permanent? (If temporary when will it end)
Does your job provide health insurance?
Does your job require a J.D?
What do you actually do for work?  (i.e. Skadden litigator or sandwich artist)


Best of luck to you all, I know as you do that it's rough out there.

RedJ.D.

****************
I'd like to run my own little tally of where May 2011 grads are today.  Drop a note as to what you are doing currently in the comments section.  Other scambloggers are doing the same, maybe we can come up with our own sample survey results.  Make sure to answer the above questions and post anonymously!
Thanks,
Angel

LegalMatch: Grease Trap for Solos

I received a great tip on a scam that all solos should be aware of--LegalMatch.  Apparently, according to my tipster, he was contacted by Merrill with an offer of client referrals about 2 years ago.  Now, all attorneys know that you're not supposed to pay a referral fee--but lawyers do.  Generally it's a percentage of what you earn after you receive it, or the referral agency collects the money from the client and takes their cut off the top before they pay you.   So, when he was contacted by LegalMatch because they had a need for real estate attorneys in New York.  He was sent the following email:

Your inquiry was sent over to me for reply. You expressed some interest in our attorney-client matching organization. In order for us to consider any attorney in any given area, we must first have a sufficient number of clients for them to serve in their area. This is done by first getting the answers to the following:
So if you would please answer the following I can determine whether such factors exist and move forward with you from there.
1) What are the main areas of law you handle? (list in order of preference);
2) What states are you licensed to practice in?
3) Do you limit the counties that you take clients from? (If so list counties);
4) Do you practice full or part time?
5) Are you solo or partnered firm?

Sounds harmless, right?  After sending in his answers, he was then set up with a test.  Yes, they sent him a test.  The email was as follows:

I spoke with Director ___________ and he has not as yet decided to select any attorney out of the several he has interviewed over the past few weeks for the New York Area. And so he authorized me to give you access to our Real Estate Litigation clients to determine whether it will be worthwhile to schedule you to for a teleconference with him. I've included New Jersey as well. 

Would you please evaluate at least twenty (20) of the these clients. This will be done by way of having you log on to an Evaluation account. You would have to speak with the Director to determine whether he could present you for more practice areas.
The evaluation account is where you review cases that we have in your area. Our model is to limit the number of attorneys in each area so we do not overwhelm clients with too many choices and can ensure the success of those attorneys who are selected by our Attorney Review Committee to represent those clients. In order to review our current clients please follow the instructions infra: 

Please go to legalmatch.com and on the right hand side, below the Supreme Court pillars, click on "Member Attorney Log In" then type in lower case one word "___________" for user name and password "clients" 

Get your pen and paper and write 3 columns: Yes, No and ? 

Once you log in you well see client cases on the left side. Click on Family Law and this shall give a listing of all cases we have in your region. Next: then click on the first case at the top of the list. This shall open up the description of the case. from there evaluate the case and answer the question "would I be inclined or disinclined to engage this case?" If yes, place a mark in the Yes column, if not inclined, place a mark in the No column. Once you complete review click Next at the upper center then review the next nineteen (19) cases while keeping track of how many you would be inclined versus disinclined to engage.
This will determine whether it would be worth while for me to schedule a teleconference with my Director. 

NOTE: Some clients may make the mistake of entering their contact info into the body of the facts. They are expecting a LegalMatch lawyer, so please do not call them if you see such. 

Thank you.

So, he proceeded to evaluate the cases, which took lots of time.   After doing that he was told that he was under consideration for becoming part of LegalMatch, but he needed to go through a selection process and be considered by their selection committee.  He started to get really excited.  Hell, he'd gladly fork over a third for all of the guaranteed business.  He was even directed to a website that showed how much traffic LegalMatch gets verses other referral services.


He then had no less than 5 conference calls with a Director as part of the selection process.  Each time, he was told that the pool was slimming down and he was still in the running.  Several of these calls took longer than a half hour and he was salivating at the mouth for this unique opportunity.


FINALLY, he heard from the Director with the good news.  He was being made an offer.  He was selected as THE CANDIDATE for their opening in Real Estate Litigation in New York.  He thought it was the answer to his dreams.... after all, getting clients in the door is the number one challenge in running a solo practice.  Well, first you have to know what you're doing.  But it is the second hardest thing.  Then he received the following email to confirm his offer:

Candidate Membership Application—Confirmation Email

Membership Applicant Name:      ________________, Esq.
Area(s) of Practice/Client Type:   Real Estate
Geographical/Client Region: State of New York. The attorney, shall have access to all Real Estate client matters coming to LegalMatch only from within the specified client allocation areas, and seek to engage those who he deems appropriate for Practice’s goals and objectives. 

Membership Term  and  Fee:     Three (3) year Membership for $73,795 per year, only if  The Committee selects attorney.

Upon Committee Approval Fee Shall Be Paid As Follows: If attorney is selected by LegalMatch’s Attorney Review Committee, membership shall be extended and $6149 shall be paid followed by membership orientation, creation of home page and the scheduling of attorney to commence review of client matters and sending responses thereto, followed by thirty-five (35) subsequent installments of $6149.

§1 Reply to this email by typing in §2 infra: “I confirm the details infra/above” in the body of your e-mail reply.  Once I receive your reply, we will overnight to you your Applicant Packet which includes a sample profile, Attorney Membership Agreement, and other helpful membership tools for you.  By confirming this email you agree to have the $500 Application Fee charged via the billing method you provided and move forward in the application process.  If you are not approved for Membership, your $500 Application Fee will be refunded in its entirety.  I understand that an Attorney Membership Agreement will be forthcoming for my review and that this understanding of parameters above does not constitute a formal offer of membership with LegalMatch.  LegalMatch reserves the right to accept, or reject, my application based on their strict eligibility requirements.

Wow and wow.  Here's the real kicker:  they don't guarantee you any business at all!  He nearly vomited in his mouth (I'm using artistic license of course) and never wanted to hear from them again.  To pay that amount of money up front is insanity!


To add insult to injury, he got an email this week with the subject line "Attorney Needed":

I am assisting a group of potential clients that have completed an intake and are ready to retain an attorney. I realize your time is limited. Are you available this week for a 10-15 minute conference call?
Please advise.

Yep, LegalMatch again.


Don't waste your time with their nonsense.  If you have $75K to hand over to this grease trap  then you probably don't need the business.  

The ONLY Way to Make Law School Affordable.

Live on the streets. My jaw hit the floor when I read this article from gawker.  I am sure he'll continue to be homeless when he becomes a debt burdened attorney.  But seriously though, there's something to this guy's strategy.  Once, when I was on a temporary project, I sat next to a guy who clearly shat in his pants and was probably homeless.  I complained to the Associate who told him he should go home and clean up and come back, so he went to bathroom--scrubbed up and came back.  He still stunk.  He could learn a little something something from this anonymous law school student.  Apparently the key is to rent a locker at a sports club/gym--actually several.  Read on...

So I have one locker for running clothes and laundry, one for dress shirts, one for dress pants and one for miscellaneous things. And also each locker has a spot for shoes at the top so that's really good.
I had to really reduce the amount of stuff that I had. I had to get rid of everything that's nonessential. I only have, like, five dress shirts, five dress pants, some running clothes that are necessary and then obviously sweatshirts and stuff. Other than clothes I don't really have a lot of stuff, just stuff for shaving and brushing my teeth and books. I have a school locker too, so that helps.
I also have access to my school. Its open until midnight and then opens again at 8 a.m. so I nap there a lot. There's this one room in the library that has couches and I nap there during the day when I have breaks in between classes. At night I try and stay in there as late as possible so I can get the maximum amount of warmth. So I'll leave there at midnight and go find a spot and then NY Health and Racquet club opens at six. So I really only have six hours outside, so its not unbearable.

Awesome!  And this very realistic youth realizes that he might not have a job as an attorney when he's done.  So, he's already contemplating a change in careers.  He wants to become a homelessness consultant.  I think he's brilliant and my hero of the month!

What Unemployed Attorneys Resort To...

I received an anonymous tip that deserves some treatment.
When one is laid off from their law firm job or never finds one to begin with, there are very few options.  You could put out a shingle, like I did--but that requires experience.  If we know anything from the past couple years, law schools don't promise you that you will be able to actually practice when you graduate (nor a job or a prospect at getting one).  So, you're usually stuck living in your parents basement and racing to send your resume to various recruiters for temporary projects that pay $22 to $35 an hour with no overtime.  Even those are hard to come by.
Another little known option is per diem work.  Per diem work entails making court appearances for status conferences and defending depositions for little to no money.  The work can be sporadic and stressful as you're often given many conferences in different courtrooms in one county.  Imagine you have 4 conferences on in Kings County Supreme Court (all in different court rooms) and then another at Civil Court (a different building) at the same time.  It happens.  And for all of that running around, my tipster tells me that she gets $75 dollars for the first appearance and $35 for each additional conference, assuming that each conference is an hour.  Otherwise, your rate is discounted.  Sounds bad, but not horrible---right?

Well, apparently, there's a guy in New York by the name of D_______ V______ (I'm kinda afraid to use his real name, but the initials are intended as a warning for people seeking employment with him) that makes his per diem attorneys sign a contract that states that they can expect payment in three months--but never after three months.  If you make yourself available, he will send you to court every single day to do per diem work for many firms in New York.  And you are enticed to go because you could earn $500 a week at a minimum and the catch is that you have to wait to be paid.   But, get this, he won't pay you for at least 3 months. Then, when you ask for the money--he sends you about $300 or $400 dollars!  After three months of busting your hump for about $100 a day!  So, basically, he carries a balance of thousands of dollars with you and you have to hassle the shit out of him to get paid.
Here's the real kicker.  The excuses that he uses for non-payment, according to the tipster, he says that paypal is not working, he's sick, he had a death in the family, food poisoning, non-payment by the firms that contract with him, he's got bills too... the list goes on and on.  And every time he pays, you'll only get $300 a pop.  And if you stop working for him, God Forbid--you'll never get paid.
Scum of the scum.  And the REAL asshole move is his contract, which specifies that any fee disputes must be dealt with in arbitration.  It takes about $700 to file for arbitration.  So, you've worked hard for 3 months and you're not likely to get that money and you have no outlet to fight for it.
So, we're living in The Jungle by Upton Sinclair for lawyers.  The capitalist pigs take advantage of poor underemployed lawyers and they sink deep into poverty.  Lawyers are poor.  It's sad. I've actually dropped off on posting because I feel like a broken record repeating the message that is now out there.  Law school is for suckers.  I still cringe when I hear people say that is what they are doing, but I can't fix stupid.
It's out there and it's on you if you think you're so special that you'll be different.  Our parents have raised us incorrectly. When I was a child, the star of the soccer team got a trophy.  About 15 years ago, I noticed that all children on the team get trophies.  We're not all winners.  Some people are the cream of the crop, and the rest of us are just trying to make it.  Get real, people.

Fucking Ridiculous: Tip of the Day, Decade, Lifetime.

If you are so poor that you need to go to a soup kitchen or a food pantry for meals, you probably shouldn't go to college just yet.